Pride, Shame, and the Trouble with Trying to Be Normal

I performed 14 person-centered ethnographies with methamphetamine-using HIV-positive men who have sex with men in San Diego, California, who were all subjects of the "anti-meth apparatus," a collection of government and nongovernment organizations focused on meth use and its sequelae. The...

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Bibliographic Details
Published inEthos (Berkeley, Calif.) Vol. 43; no. 4; pp. 332 - 352
Main Author Gideonse, Theodore K.
Format Journal Article
LanguageEnglish
Published United States Wiley Periodicals, Inc 01.12.2015
Blackwell Publishing Ltd
Subjects
addiction
Addictions
Disruption
Drug addiction
Emotions
Ethnography
Gender identity
HIV
HIV/AIDS
Homosexuality
Human immunodeficiency virus
Men
Methamphetamine
Methamphetamines
Person centred approach
Research Reports
San Diego California
Self esteem
Sexual behavior
Sexual behaviour
Shame
subjectivity
United States > US
San Diego California
Online AccessGet full text
ISSN0091-2131
1548-1352
1548-1352
DOI10.1111/etho.12100

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Summary:I performed 14 person-centered ethnographies with methamphetamine-using HIV-positive men who have sex with men in San Diego, California, who were all subjects of the "anti-meth apparatus," a collection of government and nongovernment organizations focused on meth use and its sequelae. The apparatus attempts to coerce addicts to develop and perform certain identities and emotions, though addicts are capable of both passive acceptance and active disruption. In my research, those who failed to become the apparatus's ideal subject felt shame, while those who succeeded expressed pride. Those hovering in the middle experienced a perpetual struggle to become normal and rarely, if ever, succeeded.
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ISSN:0091-2131
1548-1352
1548-1352
DOI:10.1111/etho.12100